All the UK General Election nights of my lifetime stand out in my memory, but they have rarely made me happy. Even when Harold Wilson won in 1964 after – as he phrased it – ‘thirteen years of Tory misrule,’ his majority was no more than four, barely workable for government. Two years later, he achieved a substantial majority but his special relationship with the United States during their pursuit of the war in Vietnam tarnished his reputation in the eyes of the left, among which I counted myself. However, I was not yet old enough to vote and, when I was of voting age, in 1970, Edward Heath knocked Labour off its perch, so the sun rose on a desolate summer morning.

In ’74, Wilson was back but with a tiny majority and he resigned two years later, Jim Callaghan taking over in Downing Street. 1979 was the beginning of the Thatcher years. Initially it was interesting that a woman was Prime Minister but still depressing that it was Margaret Thatcher, whose winning streak continued until her party forced her resignation. John Major, known as ‘The Grey Man’ was now PM. He had a reputation for being dull and eating peas although, to be fair, peas are an underrated vegetable. Whereas Spitting Image depicted him as terminally unremarkable, the more recent Netflix series, The Crown, portrays him as a man of integrity, not without glamour. Either way, I cried in 1992 when Neil Kinnock, expected to carry the day, lost to the grey legumephage.

1997 was the first really happy election night. Blair shone in those early years of his premiership, perhaps less in 2001 than in 1997, but he got the second term. Then, while the country raged against him over the Iraq war, he won a third term, the first Labour Prime Minister to do so. Labour’s majority was down to sixty-six which was a big drop, but seems perfectly adequate compared to subsequent General Elections. Then Blair was out, with his future behind him and Gordon Brown stepped up but did not have much of a future in front of him. Neither Labour nor Conservatives had won the 2010 election as there was no overall majority, but Nick Clegg, the LibDem leader, was in the role of a kingmaker and opted to go with the Tories. He and Cameron gave a press conference in the Downing Street rose garden. It was like a buddy movie in which Nick Clegg was the straight man or, certainly, the junior partner.

I was sad when Gordon Brown made his valedictory speech. Perhaps I cried; I can’t remember.

Although I preferred David Miliband to his brother Ed, I rejoined Labour during the 2015 election campaign and it seemed to me that Ed was going to make it. This was because I didn’t know anyone who admitted to voting Conservative. Like a spectator at the Grand National, I was saying ‘Come on Ed. COME ON ED!’ but Ed had fallen at the bacon sandwich and the Edstone, and Cameron romped home, so that was another bad night.

The Brexit referendum came and went, leaving disaster in its wake. Cameron resigned, striking me as oddly sympatique in his parting speech. I was sorry for him too, as he had experienced tragedy in his family life. By this time Jeremy Corbyn was in situ as Labour leader, which brought the horrors of antisemitism in my own party, combined with aggressive cult-like behaviour from the demographic known as Corbynists. I left the Labour Party, not precisely when Corbyn became leader, but when he was nominated to run for the leadership by a sufficient number of Labour MPs. I thought they were irresponsible and that, contrary to their expectation, he might win the leadership contest, which of course he did.

Theresa May was now Prime Minister and I quite liked her; felt as if I wanted to go for a drink with her. If my allegiance to Labour hadn’t come to a stop, I would probably have cast a colder eye on the second woman PM of the UK. Her 2017 General Election was a disaster. Expected to win, the Tories lost their majority. Expected to do badly, Corbyn did relatively well and became a Capraesque hero: the honest man who stands tall among the venal and the corrupt: hence the chants of ‘Oh Jeremy Corbyn’ at Glastonbury. But – although the Corbynists denied this furiously – he had a problem with Jews, which aroused a new kind of fear among British Jews, self included, while many on the left accused us of lying in order to protect Israel.

Boris Johnson was chosen to succeed Theresa May. ‘Get Brexit done.’ Was this a good thing or a bad thing? He was perhaps the most likely to beat Corbyn but his brexiteering and louche persona counted against him. Nevertheless, when the election came in 2019, I voted Conservative, as I had done in 2017. Not only could I not vote for Corbyn’s Labour, I wanted to use my vote to their detriment, as far as possible, and that was Tory, not LibDem.

When the exit poll predicted a big Tory majority, I sent up a prayer of thanksgiving. It is, as far as I recall, the only time that I prayed in response to an exit poll. And it was one of the few election nights during which I was happy as the results came in.

Then, last night, General Election 2024. Starmer had done so much to change Labour for the better that I resolved to vote for them again. Then I found that boundary changes meant that my Labour candidate was now Kate Osamor, to whom I did not like to give my vote for a few reasons, involving Holocaust Memorial Day and – a separate thing – something to do with baseball bats. I voted LibDem but I still wanted Labour to win and Keir Starmer to be PM, and so it happened.

Was it a happy night? Not really. Reform under Nigel Farage was up and coming, often achieving second place in Labour voting constituencies, while Tories came third or lower. Candidates describing themselves as ‘standing for Gaza’ gained about four seats in constituencies described as having a high concentration of Muslim voters. Corbyn swept back into Islington North as an Independent, also for Gaza, this being his tweet on Election Day:

My hope is that Starmer will be a good and effective Prime Minister but I ask myself, ‘What is up with the UK?’ There is a loss of faith in the democratic process, a loss of civility in public life and a loss of safety on the streets. If Keir can go some way towards fixing this, I will vote Labour next time, if I live.